The gorgeous Marilyn Walker and I did an interview for my friend, Sapna for The Asian Radio Show last Saturday, about what its like being single in the Asian community.

Being an older single Asian woman is not easy. the Chinese called them 老处女、老小姐、老姑婆、倉底货、剩女、中女、卖剩蔗、箩底橙、摄灶罅、败犬。 The Japanese called them 負け犬. None of these are good words – it all implies an older single woman a loser.

There is a cultural element in pressuring Asian women to be married – Asian, with a very Confucius upbringing, believe for one to be successful, one needs to be able to manage a family. A girl who has a successful career is not enough if she cannot find a mate and have a family. Raising children, supporting your husband and looking after your parents and parents in law is more important than having a successful career.

In the show, both Marilyn and I spoke about how us Asian chicks are seen as either a bar girl who get picked up by an older white man, or a mistress. Many white men finds independent, successful, slightly older Asian women very attractive. Do a little search on “Asian Porn”, in the Western world, and you will find a lot of East Asian looking girls, who aren’t necessary 18 – 22 years old.

Older independent Asian women are attractive because:

1. Asian women are supposedly submissive – they know how look after the men well;
2. Independent women mean she does not need to be looked after and needs little care;
3. Asian women don’t age the same way – so even though they are 30, they look like 20-something – and more mature women are easier to talk to than a teenage girl;
4. and, Asian women is just more exotic. Right?

While single, older Asian women maybe more attractive it is simply sad that we are still being seen as an exotic erotic object. Sure, what girls don’t like to be told they are beautiful, smart, and perhaps, even someone’s fantasy?

Asian women do not need the pressure to be an erotic object; nor the pressure to set up families. The important thing is the freedom for any women, of any ethnicity, to be able to do whatever she wants to do and be whoever she wants to be.

19 days ago Short URL Comments

Assumptions are human nature. We make assumptions of people based on our learnt experiences. This helps us to identify who are our friends, who are our enemies, and how we may approach strangers.

I work everyday with communities who talks about racism. Most racism is based on assumptions about people of a certain phenotype – that is, how they looked.

There is the old saying “judge a book by its cover”. We judge people, not only race, but many different ways, depending on how they look. We judge whether someone is wealthy, poor, young, old, sporty, casual, professional, etc, based on how they look. So it is not strange if we judge people by how they look.

Of course, racism is more than just how they look – it is also about how their name is spelt, how they speak, their accents, and more.

We know there are a lot of discussion about racism against the ethnic community – institutional racism, names calling, the list goes on. What have been really disturbing for me recently is the racism from the ethnic communities against each other and against the Caucasian community.

I had a White South African guy who said, in a meeting with other ethnic representatives that the Chinese has too much. During break time, asked how my work with the Chinese community is – simply because I am Chinese. This comment was made, despite the fact that I mentioned my work at the Council represent pan-ethnic.

In other meetings, I keep hearing my colleagues from the ethnic communities make these discriminatory comments about the “white people”; saying that white people don’t know our needs; the old White men go and take young Asian brides and be treated like a King, etc etc.

Being openly racist is not okay – and all of us that works with the ethnic community understand this. So why did anyone think it is okay to make racist comments about other people from the ethnic communities or the Caucasian community – just because we are “victims” of racism?

It is about time that we stop this ridiculous practice – against each other regardless of race, age, gender and more.

 

23 days ago Short URL 6 Comments

从香港远道而来的Global Exchange In Leadership Initiatives (GEILI) 于4月2日到11日到了奥克兰做了有关世界公民和社会企业的访问。

 

有如其名，GEILI希望「给力」给香港年青人一个平台，让世界不同的青年组织交换有关文化和志愿工作，并让希望建立非政府机构或社会企业的年青人能得到不同的学习机会、经济支援和全球青年领袖的网络。

 

这次到访新西兰是希望亲身感受本国丰富多元文化并帮助青年领袖与新西兰的机构连接，从而发掘和发展商机。

 

这次和GEILI的创办人李家麟和秘书长何文彦带同四个青年领袖前来。在本地的华裔青年团体Future Dragonz与同样来自香港的奥克兰市政府种族事务顾问小组成员庄家欣协助下与社会、商界和政界不同人士碰面。

 

他们第一天参观了Orakei Marae，由Ngati Whatua的Dane Tumahai代表欢迎他们到达奥克兰。Tumahai讲说了很多有关毛利的文化、历史和语言，大家对于毛利人和华人的文化之间的相似度感到非常诧异却熟悉。Tumahai 对于可以迎接这一群优秀的年青领袖也感觉非常荣幸，希望可他们可以把在新西兰学到的带回香港，为两个之间的关系做更大的贡献。

 

接着几天他们与不同的创意工业人士、萨摩亚学者、香港新西兰商会代表、新西兰亚洲学院、孔子学院等人士碰面和交流。他们也到了Waterfront Auckland聆听了市政府对于海滨发展等的计划，惊觉奥克兰和香港两地的海滨计划有着很多相同之处，也让其中几个成员发掘投资的机会。

 

当天一团人到市政厅和奥克兰市长林·布朗闲谈。布朗对于他们非常有兴趣，问了很多不同的问题。更巧的是其中四人与布朗坐同一班飞机到广州，市长在飞机上跟他们继续喋喋不休，还相约了其中几人在香港的时候一同饮茶。

 

市长表示奥克兰目前的焦点在儿童和青少年、绿色城市发展和创业工业上，对于他们的到访时间非常吻合，因为大家有着同样的价值观和抱负。希望这次的交流能让大家正真的为香港和奥克兰两地做出进一步的发展。

 

青年团也参与了纽西兰华联会的年度全国体育大会，当天有超过几百人从全国不同地方聚集在奥克兰，让GEILI各位大开眼界。他们与种族事务部部长Judith Collins和种族事务国会私人秘书Melissa Lee闲聊，对于可以和这么重要的政治人物见面觉得是一种荣幸，也感受到本国政府对于华裔和种族事务的重要性。

 

其中一名参加者，陈詠恩对这次的活动发表了一段非常值得细味的感想：「大约9日的新西兰之旅，大部分的时间都被安排跟不同的社会企业的领袖会面，交流各自对社会企业的见解及理想。作为将届毕业的我，能在踏足社会前接收到不同的概念及思想价值，对将来的思考分析力，确有莫大裨益。在从商理念的收获固然丰富，但最令我反思及赞叹的却是奥克兰人的谦恭之心。奥克兰市内拥有超过200个不同的种族文化，但当你踏足这片土地的一刻，却自然的感到一份和谐、一份打从内心的宁静。我们有幸跟不同文化背景的人民交流，却发现他们每一群人都努力保留自己的风俗，希望得以延续，然而，亦积极融入奥克兰本土的文化。你也许会感到好奇，怎么这小小的城市没有多一点激烈的纷争？ 「尊重每一个人」大概是奥克兰市长以及每位新西兰 zDiscoverloveheart R Chatrooms Discover Szh 1 Discover Love Heart Bevan Chuang – The World Of 1.5 Generation Hong Kong Chinese Aucklander | Sharing the ins and outs of ethnic youth here in Aucklandx z Discover Love Heart sDiscoverloveheart R Chatrooms Discover Szh 1 Discover Love Heart Bevan Chuang – The World Of 1.5 Generation Hong Kong Chinese Aucklander | Sharing the ins and outs of ethnic youth here in Aucklando d Discover Love Heart Love p Discover Love Heart Love